How wonderful Are the «amazing men» of OkCupid?

By now, everybody has most likely seen the cool men of OkCupid. If you haven’t, here’s the idea:

Someone thought it will be funny to post pictures of unattractive, socially awkward men from OkCupid, in conjunction with painful videos using their pages talking about how they are «nice guys.»

While i cannot assist but question what would take place if sex parts were reversed here, it did get me considering «nice men.»

Let’s paint some picture of the sweet Guy:

The Nice chap is actually a woman’s companion. He’s usually truth be told there whenever this lady has problems.

In fact, he usually volunteers their services even though they aren’t desired. The guy fancies themselves a lady’s nearest confidant, yet he rages at in the «friend area.»

This is simply not just simply for the guy whom dreams intensely about a relationship together with his closest friend and desires know-how he can make it work well.

This might be also the type of man who just talks to ladies so they can get laid.

How «nice» of a man is actually he?

First and foremost, making reference to exactly what a «nice man» you are is usually a pretty clear indication you’re not, that I think may be the point of the web site originally.

It really is like guys that are usually going on about how «honest» these include. It either suggests they are happy with behaving like assholes continuously or they truly are pathological liars.

Similarly, the «nice man» is actually anything but. He is got an insurance policy (usually a pretty selfish one), and then he disguises it under the cloak to be a «nice man.»

At Art of appeal, we aren’t at all against agendas, even types that would be some «selfish.» But we perform encourage guys to be truthful and above board about their intentions always.


«People commonly attracted to sincerity,

intent behind action and large personal value.»

This avoids a fairly important point:

No one ever before got laid when it is a «nice man.»

The cool men of OkCupid fail at creating relationship and sexual stress. Then they reach the passive-aggressive realization women don’t like them as they are «also great.»

They are the men who truly think females seek assholes. Every guy with a lick of personal awareness understands on some level this is simply not real.

But about they understand the kind of females they wish to date defintely won’t be into online dating assholes.

Exactly what do women really want?

Since there are nearly 3.5 billion females on the planet and I also’ve only satisfied a fraction of all of them, it’s difficult to express.

But people in general commonly interested in honesty, function of activity and large social worth.

Possible bet probably the most socially successful people in society failed to arrive by mistreating other people. Nor performed they get there through bogus, passive-aggressive «niceness,» which fundamentally was simply a self-serving energy play.

You intend to end up being wonderful. You desire to be independent and, most importantly, real.

The sweet Guys of OkCupid are not simply duplicitous and passive aggressive.

They also need to have by themselves validated from additional resources, frequently ladies. And these females can smell the desperation in it.

First thing you should find out is when you are not pleased with your self as you are, you have to get good at acting you are if you are busting your own butt receive indeed there the real deal.

Asking attention off individuals, particularly by trying to make all of them feel terrible if they do not provide it with, is among the most worst social method going.

Visitors, how will you continue to be a «nice man» without an agenda?

Pic origin: soulartistrymedia.com.